Many of us are strangers to death—it may even be more truthful to say that all of us are. However, every time we are faced with it, we compare it to previous situations or past experiences, expecting that the outcome will be the same. We take what we know from media, movies, or books, and apply expectations.
The following things we are about to share are lessons that we here at AMERICUS HOSPICE, INC. have learned from years of serving as a trusted provider of hospice care in Simi Valley, California, and from our clients and their families.
- Assumption No. 1: If you have seen death before, you know exactly how it happens.
Nobody knows exactly what happens to a person when they die or when they are dying. But the human psyche is incredibly averse to ambiguity. Thus, movies and books created various assumptions to soften the blow of the uncertainty we are faced with each day.
- Assumption No. 2: A great revelation to the secrets of the universe will occur.
Not everyone has a big reveal, or a big insight when they die. Often, when people go, they leave without anyone expecting it.
- Assumption No. 3: People don’t want to be alone when they die.
Many of our patients for grief counseling admit that they feel guilty for “not being there” when their loved one was dying. However, dying is a private experience, and it’s helpful to set this expectation early on.
Losing a loved one is hard, and you will feel different amounts of sadness at different times in the grieving process. Take your time and heal properly.